and with growing comes disappointment . . . that's just the nature of the game. We attended our first Pinewood Derby this past weekend, it's a toss up whether or not he was really excited about it. He has been a bit unimpressed with Scouts these days. At first he LOVED it & I was happy we had something he seemed really into - but recently, not so excited. Not quite sure why . . . anyways - his "part" of the car construction was really the decorating. Justin had cut it - a Lego car, of course :) Ryan painted the car and oversized Lego head, as well as added some star rub-ons all over the body of the car. It looked good but as a real contender for the races - not a chance :( I mean we didn't know this because building a Derby car was new to us - we didn't go researching all the tricks and tips (as maybe we should have). In the end Ryan was in the end, OVER, and OVER, and OVER - five times if I'm not mistaken - dead last. And he knew it, and fully comprehended it. Which, well, pretty much sucked. I mean we can't all be THE winner, but last place five times - that's rough :( The helicopter momma in me wanted to fly him the heck out of there but there was a lesson to be learned here, so this momma took advantage of the teachable moment. We talked about winning and losing, and what was most important. We talked about how even though he wasn't winning, how much he liked the design of his car. We talked about what we might do differently the next go around. Then another scout came up and proceeded to share he had been in first place four times and asked Ryan what place he had been in. Ryan answered 6th (tears welling), and the boy said "Every time?" and Ryan said "yes", in a small voice - we all know that one, the one that comes out when you really just want to climb into a hole. Then the the boy continued to say "High numbers are bad, you don't want to have a high number." Seriously - was this really happening? Then, Ryan dropped the car and the large Lego head broke off, and rolled right across the floor. Yep, you read that right - the head came right off and rolled across the floor. And then the tears came, and then helicopter momma (that's me!!) swept that kiddo off to the corner. I gave him a pep talk, wiped the tears, glued that crazy head on, messed with the wheels a little bit, and sent him off to race again. I have to give him props because he hung in there, even though I know he wanted to just leave. And in that moment - where he left me and walked right back up there to race again, knowing most likely he'd be in last place again, I was SO PROUD of him.
And guess what - the next race - third place! So crazy after 5 races of last place - right? Not gonna lie - I totally jumped out of my chair and cheered like a wild-woman :)
As mommas it's our job to build them up, help them learn to be confident, and help them learn how to be strong. It's not an easy task, and you hope when the moment comes where they need to dig down deep and find their own strength, that they can.
It's funny, just the other day I was having one of those moments - those stay at home mommy meltdowns. Where you think about your past career, and you remember how good you were at it, and then you look at the mommy moment you are in and wonder how you can feel so inadequate - so unsuccessful - so NOT good at it. But then, when I see this person my little man is becoming, especially in moments like these, I know what I am doing is making a difference. All the moments spent teaching & guiding & loving that seem somewhat insignificant individually, now strung together to allow him to be the person he needs to be. Moments like these remind me why my job is so important.
And so I didn't forget that important lesson this week, I captured this moment in the snow.
Nicholas was crying because the snow was too crazy for him, blowing all over his face. I was about to grab him and watched Ryan run over and tell him "I'll protect you Nicholas". And he shielded him from the snow - because that's what good brothers do :)
Be back later tonight with a Project Life spread & a page!!